OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Respect the person unless they prove they don’t deserve respect. Many religious beliefs have used up their right to respect long ago.
Why won’t they just cover the IMPORTANT news???
Finish reading Proof That The News Has Always Been Stupid
Nate Bargatze is performing on the show tonight!
Oh man I love Nate Bargatze
Linguists: creating better polygraph tests?
This paper by Newman, Pennebaker, Berry and Richards examines some linguistic style features that can tell apart true and false stories with a fairly high degree of accuracy. Abstract:
Telling lies often requires creating a story about an experience or attitude that does not exist. As a result, false stories may be qualitatively different from true stories. The current project investigated the features of linguistic style that distinguish between true and false stories. In an analysis of five independent samples, a computer-based text analysis program correctly classified liars and truth-tellers at a rate of 67% when the topic was constant and a rate of 61% overall. Compared to truth-tellers, liars showed lower cognitive complexity, used fewer self-references and other-references, and used more negative emotion words.
There’s definitely a lot of room to be wrong, so I doubt we’ll see this technique in court any time soon, but it’s significantly better than predicted by random guessing, so maybe it’ll eventually get there!
THIS. IS. AWESOME.
I wondered where the urban term “ratchet” originated, after having someone refer to me as such when my hair was messy and my iPhone case was cracked. Evidently it’s a term reserved for mostly women who ghetto-rig accessories, own a Blackberry instead of an iPhone (outdated electronics in general), has messy hair or make-up, torn clothing and my favorite quote from Urban Dictionary has “side bangs, despite having incredibly small-ass foreheads to support them.”
Explaining this term to my prissy friend got unexpected results; she says, “Does it mean like, ‘haggard’ is that the definition of ratchet?” And I said, “Sure.” But really, saying a girl is “Haggard as hell” doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Ratchet as f*ck” now does it?
It appears at though the term originated from someone misunderstanding the pronunciation of the word “wretched.” All of these descriptions would apply to a wretched woman (I’ve been called wretched before, as well) so this makes sense to me. Just like “nucular” has been added to the dictionary to accommodate for the 1/3 of the American population who says it that way (including George W. Bush Jr. and Sarah Palin), descriptivists in language will always include the common vernacular.
Another example would be saying “mis-chee-vee-us” instead of “mis-chuh-vuhs” as the word’s original spelling suggests. Having these mispronunciations added to the dictionary does indeed change the languages, but we’ve been evolving for so long that who are we to decide when that evolution stops?
So try your best to say the words correctly, but don’t worry if you don’t because sooner or later those interpretations will be added to our dictionaries.
Although honestly I don’t know that I’d prefer to be called ratchet over wretched anyways. I prefer to be called “princess.” Thanks for listening.
See this symbol is funny because those words shouldn’t spell “fish” but the sounds they make in other English words if applied accordingly can make those sounds.
The “gh” is from words like enough, and tough
The “o” becoming an “i” is from a word like women
The “ti” makes the “sh” sound from nation, initiate, etc.
Isn’t linguistics fun?! My professors used this as a fun example in class, even though what they’re really saying is “English makes no sense because it’s a bastardization of several languages so these rules aren’t mutually inclusive which is why it’s so hard to speak English which is why we should treasure the language.”
Eh, we’re making words like “hizzouse” and “sizzurp” dictionary-level words so I think we’re pretty much doomed. Or should I say “dumed” like the “u” in the word “future” ok sorry let me stop.
Being a hot mess has many benefits: people never ask you to go to the gym with them, no one gives you extra responsibilities, girls let you hang out with their boyfriends without being jealous bitches and society as a whole steers clear and lets you do your thing.
Being able to clean up well is a whole ‘nother story. I can brush my hair, throw on some make up and slut it up with the best of them, even going to JOB INTERVIEWS and sucking the occasional wiener. You have to balance how often you’re seen out looking lilke Ms. Love up there.
I choose a 70/30 split of “hot mess” to “has her shit together” just so I can make money and get the D and maybe have some friends and shit. Highly recommend that ratio, unless you’re gorgeous and people do everything for you.
Then keep being gorgeous. And I hate you.
So last night a guy is screamin’ down the street in his minivan, leaning out the window, and he slows down to yell “Nice Tits!” at me before he continues on his way.
I was having an OK night, but that just sky-rocketed my self-esteem to space-like proportions. I can do anything, as long as I have these tits on me. God it feels great.
I only wish that guy had pulled over and stopped so I could’ve hopped in and reenacted by favorite BangBros episode while my boyfriend watched. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and I missed that one, guys.
I missed it.